I’m writing in remembrance of my friend Anne Remley. I met Anne in 1988, when I moved to Ann Arbor for social work grad school. Ann Arbor has a large vibrant Friends Meeting. When I introduced myself at meeting, Anne went out of her way to make me feel welcome. Later, she offered wise advice regarding a relationship struggle I was suffering. And I worked with Anne on two issues causing significant distress.
Ann Arbor was my first real Quaker experience. At the time, the meeting was struggling with two conundrums. And Anne was smack in the middle. The meeting house is large with an overhanging roof over big windows at the back of the main room. This sheltered patio area had outdoor electric outlets and homeless people had set up housekeeping there. Which had been a problem for some time. The meeting had been struggling to reach consensus. Some people thought the police were needed, others thought nothing needed to be done, with other opinions in between. After extensive deliberation, the meeting finally asked for police assistance.
The other situation was more intrusive/difficult. A retired University of Michigan engineering professor, who’d attended meeting for years, had become paranoid and was frequently disruptive during meeting. He arrived early and chained himself to the pew where he habitually sat. At some point during worship, he would launch into a long diatribe.
The meeting struggled long and hard about this problem and consensus was elusive. But Anne, and those who agreed with her that the meeting had to take strong action, were finally able to convince most people that this man was not going to respond to gentle entreaties. And the few who were not convinced, acquiesced to the will of the large majority. Which, perhaps, is how consensus often works in the end.
